3.2.10 Grief and Shopping

Today I got this FANTASTIC idea for my next bulletin board at school, It is about my scrapbook club and also our African Dance night, but I dont want to give too much away since it will be my blog later this week. What I really want to talk about is my trip to the doctor. Today I had my checkup with my OB/GYN to make sure eveything is ok after the miscarriage. I havent thought much about it lately, other than that it was unfortunate, but I have kind of come to terms with it and moved on. Well as I was sitting waiting to be seen, I suddenly heard a baby's heartbeat on a doppler in the room next to me. It was the most beautiful sound ever, but it also instantly dissolved me to tears. Suddenly I became accutely aware that this was the appt I was suppose to be hearing our baby's heartbeat. I managed to get it together before the doctor came in, but I cried all the way home. It was an unexpected wave of grief. The doctor gave me permission to shop to help with sadness, instead of doing crack...haha. So i treated myself to the scrapbook section of Michaels. They had new papers and stickers, and it was super exciting. I was only suppose to get things for my bulletin board, but I ended up spending $40...oops. I have new things to work on Jakob's album with though, which is exciting. I was having scrapping block because of lack of materials, now I am excited to get to scrappin again!